Over this past week I’ve encountered changes that I didn't really see coming. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely a creature of habit and I get easily stressed out when my daily routine changes outside of the norm. Thankfully I have never experienced a legitimate anxiety/panic attack, but I do get overly emotional when a curveball is thrown at me and I can’t do anything to control it. I suppose that’s part of life and I’m learning more and more as I get older that nothing is in our control; our life is in God’s hands and only He knows what will happen. Each year I find myself loosening the grip on my life and learning to “let go and let God.”
On Monday I got a promotion at work, which is really exciting, but it also comes with a lot of change! My initial response to this news was somewhat of an emotional breakdown—I felt so overwhelmed and shocked by the fact that I would be working at a different location that would add 45 min each way to my daily commute. It would mean saying goodbye to the team I have grown to love working with every day and establishing relationships with new team members, having a different schedule than I was used to and learning a new side of the business that is unfamiliar to me. You may have heard the phrase, “the only thing that is constant is change” and while I do understand that, I prefer the saying, “the only thing that is constant is God!”
The other piece of uncertainty in my life is my Dad’s health. As I’ve mentioned before on the blog, he was diagnosed with brain cancer last January and it’s been a rollercoaster of a journey. Freddy and I were still living in Austin, TX at the time but we immediately moved back to Arizona once we heard the news. Family is the most important thing we have in this life and we knew how important it was to be close to them. Again, it’s so hard not knowing what the future holds; I’m trying to spend as much time with him and my mom as possible, but what I do know is that God is in control and He knows the future. Sometimes it’s hard coming to terms with that, but I know that He has a plan and He will be glorified in it no matter what. It’s been so neat to see my Dad’s faith throughout his brain cancer journey the last year and a half. He has never been angry with God but has completely placed his full trust in Him. Since my birthday is next week, I created a fundraiser on Facebook to raise money for brain cancer research; if you’re interested in learning more or supporting the cause please click this link.
When I’m overcome with unexpected change I cling to God, who is my source of hope and refuge. He is the same yesterday, today and forever—His love for me is not dependent upon my performance or my emotional state, but because of the fact that He loves me for who I am and who He created me to be. When all that is within me wants to kick and scream and cry because of all the change that I can’t control, I turn to the One who IS in control of it all. This song has been stuck in my head lately, and the lyrics have played over and over which have been helping me, “You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders.” Amen!